I get told this on the daily.
I wake up on my days off at 7.30. I'm up, dressed, tidied both my room and my office and eating breakfast by 8.15. To do list has been written by 8.25 whilst sipping on my latte that is needed to keep me going and then thats where the chaos starts. Off I go, feed the rabbit, clean out the hamster, organise those drawers, sort that box, finish those mood boards. A possible break for lunch at about 12.30 and then it continues: wash kit makeup brushes, sort lipstick tray, do some revision, complete another moodboard and I'll be lucky if I actually allow myself breathing time during this day.
This is a typical Monday.
Having been recently told that I have both Anxiety and OCD, my life feels far from calm. I organise to control my anxiety but it makes me look like a sorting machine. Just earlier today, I opened my wardrobe for a split second, noticed one pair of heels were out of place and a jumper had fallen off its hanger causing me to become severely stressed, pull everything out of my wardrobe and drawers, shoe rail and all, almost have a panic attack because I felt so overwhelmed and claustrophobic about the amount I had and then put it all back in again. Many people do a wardrobe clear out once every maybe five or six months. I do this on a weekly basis.
I admit it: I just can't relax. If I'm sitting on my bed scrolling through Instagram and I remember my foundation drawer being slightly messy then thats it. No more reading for me until its tidied. Relaxing just doesn't happen.
But it should and you should make time for it. Just because you are in the bath, just laying there, doesn't mean you should be doing anything other than just chilling. If you know someone who is totally relaxed about everything and a deadline doesn't cause them rely on red bull and coffee because they are so tired from being up all night working on it, it doesn't necessarily mean it's bad thing. Just make time for yourself and switch off. Scroll through Instagram, go for a run, meet with friends. Everything is going to be ok and 10 minutes out of your day isn't going to stop that. I just can't stop and if nothing needs to be done then I will make work for myself but sometimes its ok to chill. A calm life can often be much better than a hectic one.
♥
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